Inspirational Journey's by our Dear Sisters

Jazakum Allah Kher Sisters for sharing your Journey's with us. May Allah Keep us Firm and Steadfast on Our Beautiful Religion.

By Sister Khadija T.

Hijab 🧕🏼 Journey

My journey is ordinary but a reflection of how Allah winds our paths with determination, inspiration and circumstance. 2002. I was in the 11th grade, just found a new part time job at Harts and doning “The Rachel” mane. Fashion forward and incredibly narcissistic, I was living for HSC and Year 12 formal- such is the life of a 16 year old. By and by, on a Saturday, my very popular and drop dead gorgeous cousin Rena now known as The Turban Queen walked into my mother’s overcrowded house in a hijab! 16 and covered! At that moment, I looked at her in complete awe. “If she could do it, well, it would be easy for me too.” I still remember the metallic blue and silver square hijab, the sports girl long skirt and country road cotton top she wore. She made it look easy. I went straight to my humble mum and said, “next year in Ramadan I’m putting hijab on.” I don’t think she believed me.  My dad said, $500 for you if you do it.” Deal was sealed.

 After everyone left, I opened my wardrobe. 3/4 skirts and tops... nothing long. After all, only daggy Noni B sold long skirts... and Some women sold new scarves and “bonds” because they went Cabramatta and did it themselves. Or maybe I could go to La Bonita in Lakemba? was I seriously going to do this? Shaitan decides to pay me a visit every night with whispers, “no one will look at you. What about the formal, hello! You’ll look

So daggy. You can’t get a job. Hijab is for old people. These whispers haunted me for 10 months. I slowly built up my hijab clothes- mostly cheesecloth bohemian skirts and shirts, the odd Mr K skirts and pants with overlay. 2004. Ramadan came. It was do or die. The day before I had hair done and walked around Bankstown enjoying the attention with my locks swooshing down my back. When I walked on my break that first time in hijab, I felt invisible. Invisible to society- but so alive. I was me. All me. I was studying Martin Luther King’s speech, “I have a dream”.

 “I have a dream my children will not be judged for their colour but for The content of their character.” Content of their character. That’s been my mantra since. And what a liberating one. The bells of freedom from within, granted to the believing woman. Alhamdulilah  ️

 By Sister Layla Obeid

SubhanAllah funny enough I put the scarf on in @walla_abueid room.
Back in 2009 I was at my neighbours, and putting the scarf on designing it- what at the time use to be “practicing”, I’ll do it weekly. It was the eve of Friday and SubhanAllah I had this sensational feeling to leave it on. Midnight comes and I head back home, walk inside and announce to my parents I have put the scarf on.
There was a paused moment because how does one put the scarf on without scarves (mother at the time wasn’t wearing a hijab). Friday morning, I get up and place the same scarf back on and made it official Alhamdullilah! It was a black cap, brown squared scarf as that was the most trendiest style at that time.
Mum took me on a wild spree to purchase all the scarf necessities and every purchase just ignited pure happiness. I returned with every coloured scarf and cap.   
I’m personally not a believer in “I’m not ready”, but rather a believer in instinct. You’ll just know when it’s right.

 By Sister Stephanie A.

Assalamo alaikum. I wanted to share what inspired me to wear the hijab 

Although for me, the hijab was actually a reason I converted to Islam! 

I was raised in what I considered to be a conservative catholic home and had always attended catholic schools. So I didn’t know much outside the catholic faith and I thought I was happy. I went off to uni and it wasn’t until then I started questioning everything. I met a group of Muslim ladies, who I thought were just beautiful Masha allah with their hijabs. They had this shyness to them which I had never seen in ladies before. I got to know these ladies and the more I know about the hijab, the more I was convinced Islam was for me alhamdulilah. I converted to Islam in January, and in February I started wearing hijab alhamdulilah.Jazak allah khairan wa barak allah feekum ,Asalaamu alaykum!

 

By Sister Asfia A.

Being born and raised as a muslim, i think i took this privilege for granted by not being the best version of myself. I used to wear my hijab on and off but never took it seriously till i gave birth to my daughter for i wanted her to see me as her role model. Now i wear my hijab according to the Islamic values of safeguarding women’s modesty. It’s not only my choice but also my duty to Allah swt that i may please and get closer to him.We can all look beautiful without causing Fitnah. May Allah swt guide us and our offspring to follow the right and save us from evil.Aameen

A quote i love ....“Haya (Modesty) Does not bring anything except good” – Muhammad Peace be upon him. “Hijab is beautiful, so make it look beautiful, wear it with love, wear it with pride and most of all wear it Right.”

 By Sister Deniz Matar

I grew up in a family of a very westernized surrounding where for instance even fasting during the month of Ramadan was strange to my family. Since I was a child I was always confused onto why my friends mum has her hair covered but my mum doesn’t because were the same religion right? I began questioning myself and my faith and realizing just because I was taught to live a different way and I was taught that religion wasn’t for important i began to research and came across this ;
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty …….And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).

It made me realize that my beauty and my body, skin , hair and even my ankles should be reserved cause of how exposed women are in this society we should be inspired to cover ourselves for our modesty and to protect our awrah and preserve our beauty for those who are our muharam. Putting on the hijab for the first time made me feel beautiful even though I pinned my fingers so many times and had random blood stains on my scarf , I felt like a model from a Vogue cover , society drove me to wear this piece of cloth not just for the sake of my religion but for the sake of preserving myself for the right reasons , anyone can wear mini shorts and walk outside but only real warriors will chose to wrap their beauty without shame. Thank you for taking the time to read my story x

By Sister Zuhour

My journey to the Hijab- I remember being like a 15-16 teenager not wearing the hijab or thinking of it and having this scary dream of myself on the day of judgment when everyone around me is running and there is destruction , fire and fear and the first thing I do in my dream is look for a piece of clothing to put on top on head and cover my hair , I knew deep within me the ramification of not putting on the veil , I didn’t want to meet Allah SWT ashamed of myself and my decision . Waking up from this dream had me in tears especially since I had it 2-3 times of the course of 1 year . I felt like Allah SWT was calling me and giving me signs to come closer to him .Once I turned 18 subhanallah shortly after marriage I woke up one day and out of no where I put the intention in my heart and said tomorrow I am going to put on the hijab , I prepared myself and did it . I never felt so confident and happy making a decision I wasn’t hesitant not a tiny bit and alhamdullilah alhamdullilah

I never looked back , the Hijab is a beautiful gift from Allah SWT , Allah SWT wouldn’t guide us to anything wrong or that would harm us , it increases our value and makes people look at us to who we are to our souls and minds not our appearance .HIJAB IS BEAUTY IN EVERY WAY , in summer it would be so hot and it’s such a struggle with the hijab but when you look around you and think that Jahnam is much harder to bare than the sun you realise that the dunya is just temporary. Alhamdullilah for everything , alhamdullilah for our deen and the love of Allah. SWT  ️

 By Sister Khadijah K.

 What inspired me. I took my Shahada 5 years ago Alhamdulillah. I was present for a Shahada of a lady in her 60's, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Subhan'Allah. She inspired me because she shown me that death is inevitable, we will all, but whilst we are living it is never  too late to please Allah. If this lady could walk the life for as long as she has and face cancer and still find it in her heart to wear hijab, then I can.

I have been wearing it since. Alhamdulillah

By Sister Rania H.

What inspired me to wear the hijab? I live in a non-Islamic country where there are few muslim women who wear the hijab. I started wearing it in school when I become an adult because I’m muslim and wanted to cover my hair and be modest. I faced so many problems and comments about why I’m not free and why I wear that veil to cover my hair and If I can wear the hijab on a short sleeves or a short dress and all of these weren’t easy on me but Elhamdulillah Allah is a supporter then my family to keep going and not to listen to any of those. I was feeling that It has become part of my personality now and can’t just go without wearing it. To feel that you don’t want to be like any girl who shows up her body and hair even if she is a muslim is a big blessing. My advice to all muslim girls is that “wearing hijab is not a challenge at all.” Be modest and don’t be shy to spread your identity.  [I hope you share my post and seriously I don’t care about winning or not].

 By Sister How A

 My hijab journey🧕🏻.  My hijab journey started quiet early, since everyone around was wearing the hijab when I was young. At a young age I wanted to become like my mother in the way she looked, talked and even acted. I think that’s the typical daughter/mother relationship. 

So seeing her in a hijab only made sense that I should be wearing one too. So I started wearing it at gatherings because it made me look more like her. Than came the day that I wanted to wear it without her being there. Just because it gave me a sense of protection and security.

And as I grew older I built this strong bond with my hijab that it felt unlike me to not wear it. It became apart of me. Just like my mother is apart of me. And alhmdiallah I thank Allah(swt) everyday, not only blessing me with being a believer but blessing me with a mother who taught so much about modesty and hijab in Islam. Also thankful for all the wonderful modesty clothing stores that is available for us hijabi’s to be able to express ourselves like never before.

 By Sister Mohima ish

 I started wearing the hijab when I was in grade 4. I grew up in a Muslim majority country where most Muslim women do not wear the hijab, nor are the Islamic rulings strongly established in the country. But there are fully burka clad women with niqab, only burka wearing women with a headscarf, headscarf wearing women, and women who would lightly put a scarf on their head.

I didn't know about the compulsiveness of the hijab, but I wanted to try it out anyways. So I started out with a very thin scarf around my head the day my family was invited to a wedding ceremony. I wore the headscarf a couple of times, but then I wanted to go back to my life without hijab. But my mom ordered me to wear the hijab all the time from then on. P. S. I didn't have my menstruation yet.

 After it became compulsory for me to wear the hijab, and I was wearing the hijab already, but I wasn't sure about the Islamic rulings about the hijab.

So I went to my cousin's pre wedding ritual(গায়ে হলুদ /gaye hold) without my hijab disregarding my mom's preference for me to wear the hijab. That night, I thought I felt free from the hijab, but after the night, I thought that it was better to stick with the hijab. It made me feel better.

However, gradually, I got to know the importance of hijab, and then I felt proud in this barrier, I felt safe in this hijab. I love myself and appreciate myself in my hijab.

 By Sister Jojo D

Heres my hijab journey: I grew up as an ahmaddiya which i considered a Muslim then but i now know it wasnt muslim but my family never prayed unless it was muslim or eid and we fasted ramadan every year. But last year when i was 14 my mom passed away. It was the most depressing period of my life and i struggled so much to live daily life and no one in my family was even close to a muslim before. Then ramadan came after months of non stop cursing and booty shorts and saying f*** god like crazy and i wasnt even going to fast but i texted my cousin and she told me to fast and completely reluctant i did. I fasted every day of that month when i could and when i came out of Ramadan i was determined to fight for Allah and fight for islam even when my family wasnt supporting me. My siblings were saying my belief in marriage in islam with no dating was silly and I constantly felt i had to hide and more to that i was doing diving a sport i love so much but of course requires a swimsuit. I cried

And stayed up and though so much what would i do without diving but also what would i do without Allah s.w.t. i preached deen over dunya but i wasnt living it so after thought and fear and agony on September 9 2019 i chose Allah s.w.t. I chose Jannah i told my father how much i wanted to wear hijab and i put it on with a skirt and long sleeve shirt and walked into school. Now it hasn't been that long since my story has begun but since wearing hijab i am more consistent with my prayers even though i miss quite a few. I am about to get my first quran from my cousin inshallah and i am hoping to get closer and closer to islam as i go on. I look at jilbabs and abayas that cover your body and am not able to buy them although i look at my mere 5 hijabs and sigh wearing the same i do not complain because Allah s.w.t. has given me the greatest gift of all Him.

 By sister Naziia

What inspired me to wear the hijab: I went to hajj 4 years ago and being in Saudi Arabia (Makkah and Medina) for 40 days. I came back feeling it’s a part of me. I never took the hijab off on my return from hajj. Alhumdulillah I don’t have any regrets. ❤️

 By Sister Stephanie S.

Assalamo alaikum. I wanted to share what inspired me to wear the hijab. Although for me, the hijab was actually a reason I converted to Islam! 

I was raised in what I considered to be a conservative catholic home and had always attended catholic schools. So I didn’t know much outside the catholic faith and I thought I was happy. I went off to uni and it wasn’t until then I started questioning everything. I met a group of Muslim ladies, who I thought were just beautiful Masha allah with their hijabs. They had this shyness to them which I had never seen in ladies before. I got to know these ladies and the more I know about the hijab, the more I was convinced Islam was for me alhamdulilah. I converted to Islam in January, and in February I started wearing hijab alhamdulilah.

 By sister Jinan

What inspired me to wear the hijab.  At the age of 5 I seen my mum wear it and she always used to try it on for me and take pictures as usual Muslim mums will do. Then one day it was cold and It was the first time I attended Arabic school so I put it on to try it and I just loved it from the age of 5 and now I’m 20 never thought of taking it off not one day.

 By Sister Mia Alli 

 Hi, I’m 13 and I put the hijab on with my sister around 2 weeks ago, but I wanted to put it on from the start of the year but my parents didn’t let me until they saw me praying on time, reading Quran and being good. So when my mums grandfather died We wanted to go to see him before his burial and to pray at the mosque but then when we came home I decided to just ask one more time and they finally said yes, so me and my sister kept it on together. 

 

By Sister Khadijah kilia

 What inspired me ? I took my Shahada 5 years ago Alhamdulillah. I was present for a Shahada of a lady in her 60's, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Subhan'Allah. She inspired me because she shown me that death is inevitable, we will all, but whilst we are living it is never  too late to please Allah. If this lady could walk the life for as long as she has and face cancer and still find it in her heart to wear hijab, then I can.

I have been wearing it since. Alhamdulillah

My Sister How.a

 My hijab journey🧕🏻

My hijab journey started quiet early, since everyone around was wearing the hijab when I was young. At a young age I wanted to become like my mother in the way she looked, talked and even acted. I think that’s the typical daughter/mother relationship. 

So seeing her in a hijab only made sense that I should be wearing one too. So I started wearing it at gatherings because it made me look more like her. Than came the day that I wanted to wear it without her being there. Just because it gave me a sense of protection and security.

And as I grew older I built this strong bond with my hijab that it felt unlike me to not wear it. It became apart of me. Just like my mother is apart of me. And alhmdiallah I thank Allah(swt) everyday, not only blessing me with being a believer but blessing me with a mother who taught so much about modesty and hijab in Islam. Also thankful for all the wonderful modesty clothing stores that is available for us hijabi’s to be able to express ourselves like never before. 

By Sister Mohima ish

 I started wearing the hijab when I was in grade 4. I grew up in a Muslim majority country where most Muslim women do not wear the hijab, nor are the Islamic rulings strongly established in the country. But there are fully burka clad women with niqab, only burka wearing women with a headscarf, headscarf wearing women, and women who would lightly put a scarf on their head. I didn't know about the compulsiveness of the hijab, but I wanted to try it out anyways.

So I started out with a very thin scarf around my head the day my family was invited to a wedding ceremony. I wore the headscarf a couple of times, but then I wanted to go back to my life without hijab. But my mom ordered me to wear the hijab all the time from then on. P. S. I didn't have my menstruation yet.

 After it became compulsory for me to wear the hijab, and I was wearing the hijab already, but I wasn't sure about the Islamic rulings about the hijab.So I went to my cousin's pre wedding ritual(গায়ে হলুদ /gaye hold) without my hijab disregarding my mom's preference for me to wear the hijab.That night, I thought I felt free from the hijab, but after the night, I thought that it was better to stick with the hijab. It made me feel better. However, gradually, I got to know the importance of hijab, and then I felt proud in this barrier, I felt safe in this hijab.

I love myself and appreciate myself in my hijab.

 By Sister Zuhoor A.

 My journey to the Hijab- I remember being like a 15-16 teenager not wearing the hijab or thinking of it and having this scary dream of myself on the day of judgment when everyone around me is running and there is destruction , fire and fear and the first thing I do in my dream is look for a piece of clothing to put on top on head and cover my hair , I knew deep within me the ramification of not putting on the veil , I didn’t want to meet Allah SWT ashamed of myself and my decision . Waking up from this dream had me in tears especially since I had it 2-3 times of the course of 1 year . I felt like Allah SWT was calling me and giving me signs to come closer to him .Once I turned 18 subhanallah shortly after marriage I woke up one day and out of no where I put the intention in my heart and said tomorrow I am going to put on the hijab , I prepared myself and did it . I never felt so confident and happy making a decision I wasn’t hesitant not a tiny bit and alhamdullilah alhamdullilah

I never looked back , the Hijab is a beautiful gift from Allah SWT , Allah SWT wouldn’t guide us to anything wrong or that would harm us , it increases our value and makes people look at us to who we are to our souls and minds not our appearance .HIJAB IS BEAUTY IN EVERY WAY , in summer it would be so hot and it’s such a struggle with the hijab but when you look around you and think that Jahnam is much harder to bare than the sun you realise that the dunya is just temporary.

Alhamdullilah for everything , alhamdullilah for our deen and the love of Allah SWT  ️ 

 By Sister Asfia assad

 Being born and raised as a muslim, i think i took this privilege for granted by not being the best version of myself. I used to wear my hijab on and off but never took it seriously till i gave birth to my daughter for i wanted her to see me as her role model. Now i wear my hijab according to the Islamic values of safeguarding women’s modesty. It’s not only my choice but also my duty to Allah swt that i may please and get closer to him.We can all look beautiful without causing Fitnah. May Allah swt guide us and our offspring to follow the right and save us from evil.Aameen

A quote i love   “Haya (Modesty) Does not bring anything except good” – Muhammad Peace be upon him. “Hijab is beautiful, so make it look beautiful, wear it with love, wear it with pride and most of all wear it Right.”❣️ 

By Sister Juju  Z

Salams just want to tell you about what inspired me to put on the hijab. I was 19 years old which was 14 years ago. I always wanted to put it on but my family always stopped me as they weren’t practicing, I always loved Islam and I loved the hijab but taking that step was big. My mums theory was what will people say about me that my daughter is wearing it and I’m not? I would always say it doesn’t matter what people think or say I want to do this for me. I was gifted a book called the hereafter and it described in detail about the punishment of jahanam which scared me to my core. I was petrified and was in constant fear of meeting my creator without me wearing a scarf. I called up my cousin who was scarved and said take me shopping I need to get new clothes and buy hijabs. Allhamdulilah since that day 14 years ago I’ve never looked back. I was constantly abused by my family for putting it on I felt like I was a revert into a Christian family, with my courage of putting on my scarf

A lot of my family also put the hijab on they were so happy that someone finally did it because it also gave them the courage to do it Allhamdulilah ya rab. Now my mum is a hajje and also wears hijab. 

By Sister Anonymous1  

Salami , my story behind what inspired me to put on the hijab was in 2015 I was going on a road trip with my family for a little getaway and Subhunallah I just thought of something happening to me along the way as it car accident and not making it, and I didn’t want to pass away and not wear the hijab and Alhamdillah by the will of Allah Swt I had put on my hijab then and never looked back since.

By Sister Hennad H

 The reason why I started wearing the hijab. 2 years ago my beautiful mother in-law was diagnosed with stomach cancer and she battled it for less than 3 months and returned to Allah swt. In that time I saw her deteriorate, she was this hands on person who did everything for us from school pickups to

Cooking to cleaning to groceries and to see her like that was heart aching. I looked at my life then and thought to myself ,what if- I was the one suffering ,what If i was to die tomorrow without doing what I always wanted to do . So I decided at that moment not to wait till you want to do something, just do it and everything will fall in place. And at that moment I started wearing the hijab and Alhamdulilah that’s the best thing I did . 

By Sister Mariam Diab

My story starts at a young age Alhamdullillah . I’m not sure if it’s inspirational but it’s my story on why I decided to put on my hijab.
It was the year 1999, on a Friday morning. I woke up at 6:30am like I always did at that time in my life and went straight to the living room to watch Cartoon Network. I stayed watching, while my sisters woke up and got ready for school, while they ate breakfast and while walking out of the house to our neighbours house who was taking us to school that day.
“Hurry up Mariam”
I realised I was very late and I was still in my pjs and my hair was crazy messy. I went to my room in a hurry wore my school clothes and looked at my self in the mirror. I looked at my hair and it was not looking good. My natural hair was very curly, so if I brushed it I knew it would become buffy. So I got the scarf I use to wear while praying. Tied it around my neck (in the old fashion way) walked outside and decided at that moment.. how exciting it was I didn’t have to worry about my hair anymore.
That’s my story: Alhamdullillah . 

By Sister Siddiqua.ojeerally:

Asaalam Alaykum. I came to Australia on a student visa with my husband. There were so many challenges in getting our permanent residency. But Subhanallah the day our working visa has been approved I started wearing the hijaab which was 5 yrs ago. 

People would always discourage me by saying "you are in a foreign country, what if you don't get a job what if you experience discrimination". But I said to myself the day I would start to wear it will be when I get my permanent residency here in Australia and no one would stop me. I was ready to face any challenges or difficulties that would come my way even though I do not have my families around me. And Subhanallah since that day I have never thought of giving up wearing the hijaab. That made me who I am, this is my identity no matter which part of the world I go this would always be mine. 

 Another reason is that I have always felt bad when muslims would greet each other by saying 'Asalamu Alaykum' and not me as they don't know that I am a muslim. That made me feel real bad and reflect on that since. Now when I walk on the street any muslim people would greet me and I would feel very proud being a good Muslim.

By Sister Maissa I

Islam was written in my heart as a young child. I asked questions upon questions about why Allah created 7 heavens, how He knew our entire life before we were welcomed into this dunya, or why prayer was important. While my parents are Muslim, they were never practicing. My father served as a role model who didn’t pray,as my mother unveiled herself when I was at a young age.  

I always knew that Islam was the most important foundation of my life. However, I was unknown to its beauty, purity, and knowledge of everything. I was never taught how to pray or make dua. I was sent to Quran classes where I pretended to know how to pray due to fear of embarrassment. Upon realisation, at the age of 17, I felt my heart and soul whimper from my distance between Allah and I.

 I recognised that I am now accountable for the sins of not learning how to pray, and the sin of missing prayer. With the support of my loved ones, they provided me with a prayer mat that had instructions of what to say and do. Immediately, I prioritised my prayer and maintained my 5 daily prayers on time, every day.

After 2 months of consistent prayer, I knew that the scarf was my identity (even though I wasn’t veiled).  I decided to veil myself as I knew that pleasing Allah will bring me contentment as my soul will feel some ease.  I veiled myself May 2017 alhumdulillah and at times when I feel myself deviating away from my purpose in this dunya, I remember what my soul felt when I obeyed our Creator. Indeed Allah loves those who rely upon Him (Quran 3:159). This is my story behind my veil.

 

 By Sister Zakeesh R.

Hello! This is my hijab story. I always knew I was going to wear it, but I always used to say after marriage,  and then it used to be before university and finally, before high school. I lost my connection with Islam  and arrived to earn it back by doing everything I could, but it was also scary putting on a hijab in America.

 I wanted a fresh start... so I decided to wear it before high school. I was always unsure about whether or not to wear it until I heard someone say “if you want to be recognized in the akhira, and you can’t be recognized as a Muslim now... how can you expect such a thing.” Something about it clicked in my brain, and I knew I would start wearing hijab. I’m 14, and I’ve been wearing hijab for about 3 months now :) 

I used to contemplate wearing hijab all day but for some reason nothing motivated me until someone told me “in the Quran, Allah said “Oh the believing women” not “Oh the beautiful women”.I used to be so insecure that people would make fun of my looks, but with watching lots of videos I was finally able to have courage to wear it. I am the first female in my family to put on the hijab, and it’s scary sometimes but Alhamdullilah it’s was an overall great experience.

By Sister Anonymous 2
I also apologise for its length but I feel like every detail is needed to understand the full picture, Jzk.

For some background information, I was born and raised as a Muslim, however, I was not raised in an ideal Islamic environment. In other words, the only times I learnt about Islam were in primary school in scripture classes or vaguely from extended family.

My journey started when I was in year 4 of a public primary school. I wasn’t the most popular child and never had a constant friendship with some so I was always around different people. At one point I started to hang around a girl who was hijabi and I would ask her about it and became fascinated about it. One day I told her that I wanted to wear the hijab (this was also following my aunty putting on the hijab, she was a very influential figure in my life), so she told me to wear a long sleeve top under my shirt tomorrow and she brought me a bag of hijabs to wear. I put it on that day, but my hijab journey doesn’t end there. After about a week, being very young and not understanding what it meant, I took it off and went back to my normal life.

Fast forward 4 years and I am in year 8, I’m still in a public school, however, this time my friend group is compromised of 99.9% Muslims. Up until this point I was a barely-practising muslim, being the only rule I followed was believing in One God and abstaining from pork (And obviously alcohol I was a child lol). Even then I barely knew what this all meant. From these girls was where I was introduced to the true Islam. From their conversations and experiences is where I learnt basic knowledge which I had never known from anyone else. Alhamdulillah I thank Allah (SWT) everyday for putting me into that school and allowing me to meet those girls. At the time only one of the girls were scarfed, and she had been since she was young. Due to their influence, I began to watch lectures and learn Islam in my own time. I taught myself how to pray by having the instructions on a slideshow on an iPad in front of my while I prayed. Then, after listening to a lecture about hijab, I decided to put it on officially. Everyone was happy for me and so was I. But unfortunately that happiness didn’t last and I began to feel ugly and uncomfortable in it. I took it off after around 6 months of wearing it, despite my friends’ efforts advising me not to. This was one of the most shameful things I felt I have done as a Muslimah and it gave me unimaginable guilt, but something inside of me was telling me that it was the right thing to do and that I wasn’t ready. (You will understand this thinking later on)

Fast forward another year, I am in year 9, still in the same school, still around the same girls. At this point I was barely praying anymore and was very lost. One of my friends was starting to become more religious and was openly and eagerly teaching us about Islam, let’s call her C. Subhan’Allah, almost every visit to her house ended in a deep conversation about Islam. Eventually C had put the hijab on and it genuinely filled my heart with happiness because it was meant to be for her, it fit her like a glove. At this point, after watching everyone around me become better Muslims, I decided to take photos of C’s prayer mat (the one with instructions) and began to start praying again. This time I eased myself into Islam a more steady way, and gave myself more time to actually take in what I was actually learning. I started to become a better Muslimah.

One day, I was sitting with my friends at lunch when another girl had come up to me and complimented my hair. The word felt like shards of glass and I quickly realised that my hair was the most prominent feature of mine. After that day, that one compliment, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I was in an all girl’s school, so that every once in a while when a male teacher would walk past or there would be males from the opposite boy’s school I would feel disgusted in myself. At this point I stopped straightening my hair and just kept it tied up, I didn’t care about it anymore I just knew I wanted to cover up. So, I spoke to C, I told her how I felt and she explained to me that was exactly how she felt before she had put it on. From then on, I decided I wanted to wear it. She took me back to her house and put a scarf on me to try it on and I finally felt comfortable. This wasn’t permanent though as it was her scarf. After this she took me to greenacre to finally buy some scarves for myself and scarfy-friendly clothes. I had planned to put it on the following Monday, but things changed. That Friday we had plans to take out another friend to a YouTuber convention for her birthday. I remember being so sick that day I could barely lift my head but I was pushing through it as we planned this for a while. I decided that I wanted to put the scarf on that day so that I could always have those memories of that day. I told C and she came to my house to help me get ready and helped me put the scarf on. It was hard and my head did feel heavy due to being heavily sick, but that was September 11th 2015 and ever since then I’ve been a proud hijabi.

The story still continues though, from then on I was hijabi however, my dress code was never what it should’ve been. This is not to put down other hijabis or anything, but I was wearing tight clothes, tight jeans etc., and I wasn’t happy. Eventually, I met my (now) husband. And he grew up in a practising household, and seeing how his sisters and mother dressed and acted influenced me to dress and behave more according to my hijab. I then had found out that I was afflicted with Hasad/3ayn and to me this had explained all the reasons why I had struggled so much with hijab up until that point.

Currently, I am still hijabi and I am still trying to perfect my hijab with each trial. But Alhamdulillah Allah (SWT) gives us ease in ways we don’t imagine. I am still gratefully friends with that same group of girls and I thank Allah (SWT) everyday for what they have done for me. And Alhamdulillah following my adornment of the hijab and praying it encouraged the family in my household to practise as well. Alhamdulillah for the hijab, I wouldn’t be who I am without it.

 

 


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